Today, I feel an empty mind, in that my wife is
leaving home to see her ailing mother, and my right of living with her has such
accordance to have a freedom to let her to see her mother earlier too, and now
it is not the question why I feel a loneliness, but it is a centre of all round
to the obligation and duty to let her go see an ailing mother and my duty also
to visit her ailing mother, and that I do shortly, and earlier times, I have
had many visits to my mother-in-law, and then I wrote a poem on her, too.
I am excited, too, at the same time. Excited to
feel I am living in freedom a few days, as all members of my family are out of
my house on different reasons. Yet I feel nervous when my wife repeatedly
directs me what to do and what not to do in her absence, and particularly to
keep my whole house in nice and tidy manner, that is, to keep everything that I
use in her absence, in order of keeping them where it has to be taken out for
my use. It is a difficult job for me, as I forget all when I am deeply thinking
of my poems or when I am engaged in talking with friends in a social web site. Particularly
I become more attentive in my writing, and then I forget to take my meals in
time, that is served to me when my wife is at home. And her repeated sweet
rebukes make me take my meal in a hurry at her time, not in the spill over time
of my own. I like the feeling to keep me absorbed with stories on society,
friends, and love.
Today, I feel sportive as the wind of some
obligations of familial duty is absent, and a feeling of sweet breeze conveys
to me to write and go on the shore that is cordial to my habits of endurance to
feel free with life that is a glance of my mind to go through life’s part of
existence and syllables. I think of my own, of my flights towards time zone
that is not restricted now to me. It is a strange feeling. Here lies the
difference between living in a familial life and living in a sectional freedom
of familial life. Now I am a man of writing and reconciled wisdom, a grace of little
liberation.
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